[+]Life Is Unfair

Isn't it?? How many times have you tried to help someone and got belted by that person? How many times have you tried to cheer up a friend and yet felt their wrath for being cherry when they're sad? It is sad isn't it?? So, what can we do about it?

The fact is nothing! !! But when I am depressed and someone is trying to cheer me up, all that I try to do is not lose control. After all that person is only trying to help and especially if it were a friend, he/she would never gloat. So I just try to understand that they are only trying to help me feel better in their own way and feel good that someone is there for me! !! I am serious. I hardly lose control when my friends try to cheer me up.

I really hate it when I am on the receiving end of things. When I can control and understand their felings, why can't it happen the other way around?? Are people just built like that or is it just that I am bad at making people feel better;)??

Well it happened to me tonight and all that i wanna say is I love that person a lot and all i want for that person to understand is that i would never ever, not now/never before/never after, would I do anything to make their life uncomfortable in any way and everything i do is always with good intentions.

Another message to a friend! !! I trust you with my life! !! It wouldn't hurt you to trust me a little.. I am serious.. Like i said before in this post.. I mean you no harm! !!

Cheers! !!

[+]About 10/4

What was i thinking! !! This is my life and how can I let someone take it away! !! Saying this felt good, but it doesn't change a thing! !!

I can accept the fact that everything that happened that night was all reasonable and yet my mind defies all reason, cause it always wants something more than it gets. Why can't i just accept the fact that i am a vermin and i deserve this... Why not???? Why do i have to be something special???? Why can't I just be some random nut??

Well.. I am doing good today!! Not altogether reassured, but getting along and accepting the fact that everything has been done! !! I'll never forget the day or '! !!'....

What's more important is that there is just two days left in college and then it's exams. So it's all coming to an end with college, friends and more importantly '! !!'. So, irrespective of whether '! !!' realizes that it's coming to an end, I am going to make it perfect till then. I won't be a jealous prick anymore. All i want is some exclusivity for being with '! !!' for 2 years.

[+] Unforgiven

The past is very important to everyone... No matter how much people say things like ' you can always turn over a new leaf' or when they say things like 'forgive and forget', don't trust them. Cause they never are. Once a criminal always a criminal.

It really hurts when people close to us don't give a damn about how you feel. It's all totally ok to them cause at some point of time you have done something similar to them. Well if you think apologizing and begging and pleading for like years and even shedding tears and asking for forgiveness had changed stuff between you and that person, guess again, you thought wrong! !! Even if that person does realize that you have turned over a new leaf, it doesn't matter. Revenge is a sweet memory it seems.

Why am i so bitter.. Remember the big party i was talking about! !! Yes it did happen and it was probably the most depressing , humiliating and degrading thing that has ever happened to me. Four years and a person thinks that I'm not even worth mentioning because someone else was more important than me! !! I don't care if the other person was more important and more whatever, I felt i deserve better treatment after everything i went through for love! !! Atleast a warning of what's coming would have been nice! !!

I have done a lot of bad stuff.. I've kinda spoilt the other person's life but at some point in time I realized everything and begged, pleaded for another chance. But none came even when there were promises of something better. Maybe i don't deserve another chance, maybe I am the worst person in the world, all i wanted was some respect for what i tried to do.

Everything's over. All said and done. I can't change anything about it. But i loved '! !!'. Sorry for what i did..But even now if you can't treat me like another living being after all the promises. I don't know. Things are just hard as it is, I don't know what to do. I have tried my best....

[+] Updates For 6/4

Yup... I have another page on Blogger... And yes I am a genius to put it to better use! !! Well this blog page was generally created so that i can learn everything i want to know about blogging and customizing the templates... Now that most of that part is covered, I am going to use this blog page to post my interests column (people can call it the Mokkai Corner) in the hope that someday i day have a lot to blog about! !!

Please excuse the overly customized look of this page! !! Yes, I'll make it look minimalistic like my page too..

Now finally to the Updates...............

• I completely forgot to mention the Bahrain Grand Prix. Amazing result there too. Kubica on the podium again. Kimi finished second but no sweat he's still leading the driver's chart.
  
• The candid incident mentioned earlier.. A pic to remember it by,

(Just a drive through! !!)

• Gotta start studying! !!

Thats all there is to be added to 6/4's post! !!